HOW TO EAT WITH A BEARD
If it's not bite-sized, make it bite-sized
We’d like to preface this by reminding you that whenever possible, use utensils. This will allow you to better control how much food is going into your mouth and at what angle.
However, there are plenty of amazing foods designed to be eaten with your hands – pizza, burgers, sandwiches. For times when things can get messy, cut your food into bite-sized pieces with a knife. Yes, that means breaking your pizza apart and eating it with a fork. However, we realize there are events that make such adjustments awkward, like a social event or a date. For those occasions, make the smart choice and avoid finger foods.
Don’t overload
If you want to keep your beard clear of food, you’re going to have to pay attention to how much food you’re putting on that fork or spoon. Make sure there's not too much so it can make it safely into your mouth. It also helps to get in the habit of using your thumb and index finger to brush any stray hairs away from your mouth as you eat.
What about noodles or pasta?
This is a tough one because whether it’s ramen or pasta, no matter how much you twirl and cut, strands will fall off the fork and hit your beard. While it might just be easier to swear off noodles once and for all, noodles are tasty! So if you’re going to eat them, this is how to do it: you can avoid getting the majority of that sauce or broth in your beard by grabbing your beard with your non-dominant hand, twisting, and pulling it to the left or the right. Then continuing twirling it up and eat with your dominant hand. Sure, it may not be a cure-all, but it makes the process cleaner.
What about foods with a soupy consistency?
Foods like creamy soup and ice cream on a hot day have the tendency to drip off the bottom of the spoon. One way to get around this is to painstakingly measure out the perfect amount of soup or ice cream, and carefully put it into your mouth. An easier method is using a technique called “the dress”. Grab a paper towel and wrap it over and around your beard, then spread your mustache to each side. Then enjoy your ice cream or soup!
What about drinks?
Unless you want to dip your mustache into the cup of coffee, soda, or beer you're enjoying, you’ll be much better off drinking out of a travel cup or using a straw to enjoy a mess-free beverage. Another way to avoid having a sticky ‘stache is to keep your mustache well-waxed and out of the danger zone.
If all else fails?
Sometimes getting a bit of whatever you're eating on your face is inevitable, so carry around a couple of napkins in your pocket just in case. It can also help a lot to ask for extra napkins whenever you order food somewhere, especially if it’s something you know will make a mess. Hand wipes or baby wipes also help a lot to keep your beard clean.